Bad Idea of the Night

Are you kidding me? Are you freaking kidding me? My kid brought this home today (thanks Gramps). Is Crayons Co. out of its mind? Do you realize how many Crayons I'm going to have to dig out of my kid's mouth because of this?

Rage building ... building ...

This state site brought to you by Gary Herbert for Governor

I want to know who came up with that and what purpose it serves other than to put the ell-gee's face out there One More Time. For more hilarity, check the exact same wording of the first sentence in the pop-up with the site behind it in the upper left corner. 2010, here he comes!

Because I can

A couple of things:

• I've turned back on the full rss feed so that you don't have to come clear to the blog to read it. Lazy readers.

• Palmrya residents will likely flood the commission meeting tommorow. http://www.utahcountyonline.com/News/NewsDetails.asp?ID=76669

• Posting from iPhone at lunch, so forgive the quirks. Just a test run.

Monday Cup o' Joe

Look everyone! She's a racist! To the Sen. Hatch press release:

Hatch Statement on Supreme Court Reversing Sotomayor Firefighters Decision

“The Supreme Court today correctly held that race-based employment decisions must be justified by facts, not fear,” said Hatch. “These firefighters, who worked long and hard for it, were denied the chance for promotion because of their race.

“In the twenty-first century, race discrimination requires more justification than the fear of being sued. The Second Circuit should have recognized the serious and unique issues this case raised and given it the thorough treatment it deserved.”

As if it was her decision alone on this case. As far as I know, she wasn't the only justice in the lower court to deny the case. Anyone have a list of others she joined in the decision?

• The Trib continues their Chaffetz weekender streak with a piece about his globetrotting ways.

"I felt that one of my weaknesses was foreign policy, so I made a concerted effort in the first six months to get out and see everything I could," he said. "There's no substitute to go out and be there and see it."

• Can't resist another mind-blowing column from Joseph A. Cannon. And by mind blowing, I mean blowing my mind out all over the wall:

The Restoration (of the Gospel) would not have been possible without the Enlightenment which laid the foundation of political and religious freedom. The Enlightenment was an indispensable element of the American Revolution, also a necessary precondition of the Restoration. Though the Enlightenment created and carried within it the corrosive seeds of materialism and secularism, the Gospel is the antidote.

So, good Enlightenment fixes bad Gospel. But now gone bad Enlightenment needs to be fixed by the bad Gospel gone good? God's got a wicked sense of humor and I need more caffeine to get through these things.

• Speaking of religion, the most awesome Utah lawmaker alive (and I mean that and all the baggage that comes with it) gets profiled by the Dnews. But what's up with guys getting religion when they've fallen for some hotness? (I'm looking at you Glenn Beck.)

Then came "the LDS girl."

"Her parents made it clear, she wasn't marrying anyone who didn't go on a mission. I thought I was in love, so I knew I was going" on a two-year assignment before college.

Greg Hughes, a true romantic.

• Sunday sadness — Body of missing boater found in Utah Lake.

To Chaffetz or not to Chaffetz

Good Chaffetz (via HollyOnTheHill)

Rep. Chaffetz’ bill will create a “postal holiday” on the “Census Day” to allow the collection of Census information rather than the delivery of mail.

Chaffetz better be careful though – his out-of-the-box thinking and common sense approach is earning him a reputation. Pretty soon, his name will become a verb and people will talk about “Chaffetzizing” or simply “Chaffetzing” when they mean a politician who actually stands on principle and brings forward workable solutions.

MSM Chaffetz (via the Tribune)

Chaffetz says he's introducing the bill to avoid having the Census hire groups like the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now, or ACORN, which has been under investigation in several states for voter fraud during the 2008 election.

Bad Chaffetz (via BobAagard)

Well, this make perfect sense if you don't know anything about the census, the Postal Service, nor the ACORN controversy.

On voter turnouts

Sen. Howard Stephenson can say what he wants about the Nebo School District pulling a fast one by holding its septennial bond election in June. (And he did, dusting off the never-gets-old "unAmerican.")

But there is just no way that a June election is the reason only 10 percent of the voters turned out to decide the fate of $160 million in new public debt. Sure, there's a certain percentage of voters who are going to be out of town. And Stephenson's argument that there would be a larger turnout in November is undoubtedly true.

But a wise man once told me that if voters really cared, they'd be at the polls. Not caring, then, means they're fine with it.

I suppose there's an argument to be made that Nebo district residents were uninformed. But even that's hard to believe unless 50,000 residents in today's online world are instead living under mineral mass of varying composition, consolidated or unconsolidated, assembled in masses or considerably quantities in nature, as by the action of heat or water.

Certainly, the Daily Herald did its due diligence with at least a dozen articles and op-ed pieces over the past two months. The district did hold multiple public meetings and send out multiple mailers about the election, as well.

I'm not taking a side on this bond election. I'll let lawmakers and well-paid school district administrators hash that out. I'm just saying that what the voters want is exactly what the voters get.

Now enjoy this delightful how-to on banana teardowns.

Dems and the guv

Glen Warchol (anyone know if he prefers "The Crawler?") has posted an Idiot's Guide to a Blue Guv. The only question that remains for the Dems is which of their heavy hitters is going to run for which office.

• Republicans tried to crush Congressman Jim Matheson with a gerrymandered district, but instead created a blue dog monster that can win statewide. It helps that most of Matheson's conservative constitutents don't even know he's a Democrat.

• Salt Lake County Mayor Peter Corroon has gained a reputation as one of the most effective elected officials in the state. A Draft-Corroon Facebook group is steadily growing.

I'm going to weigh in here and say it makes more sense to have Matheson run for governor. Name recognition and gobs of cash are crucial in a statewide race. Meanwhile, Corroon should dominate Matheson's 2nd Congressional District in a run to replace him in Congress.

Just thinking out loud.

Cool if you're a socialist

UTA is one of the transit agencies teaming up with Skynet Google to use the company's map system to plan trips.

Just type in locations, date and time and voila, you're on your way. Of course, if you hate transit and all those poor/disabled/commuter people who actually use it, you can still use Google maps to plan your SUV-with-the-boat-attached trip as normal.

(Before you hit that comment button, check that your Sarcasm Detector is working properly.)

Monday Cup o' Joe

It's Day 4 of My iPhone Life. Things that are better on the iPhone than a computer: TweetDeck, Facebook, and Google's RSS Reader.

• When it comes to Senate Bill 81, Sheena at the Trib tells us that the lawsuits, they are a'comin'. The 2008 immigration reform bill goes into effect on July 1.

• Thomas Burr (he's not a Facebook friend, so I hesitate to call him Tommy) gives us Jason Chaffetz, the penny-pincher. Far be it from me to criticize Chaffetz for saving a few bucks, but the article does make some good points:

Plus, (Joe Hunter) noted, Chaffetz' numbers are better because he's just getting started and some costs may not show up until later.

"There's just a normal delay," Hunter said. "All those clocks don't start running on January 3. It's perfectly normal for expenses in the first quarter to be lower."

Plus, you have to figure all those staffers haven't received years worth of raises. It'll be interesting to see how those numbers look a few years down the road.

• LaVarr Webb spouts a whole lot of crazy about Utah's GOP caucus system. Unleash the insanity!

Our caucus-convention system is under heavy attack, mostly by liberals who hate the fact that strong conservatives can get elected — even though the perception of conservatives dominating the process is untrue. Consider that in 2004 two moderates, Jon Huntsman Jr. and Nolan Karras, emerged from the state convention, and the strongest conservatives got trounced.

First of all, heavy attack? Conservatives only dream that it was so they'd actually have something to fight against. Second of all, I don't think I will consider Huntsman and Karras. Consider Chaffetz, Herbert, Dayton, Madsen, Herrod, Ray, Wimmer, annnnnd et cetera. Moderates are the exception in caucus, not the rule.

• The Herald's own Heidi Toth breaks down the Facebook frenzy for election campaigns. Not just big time elections but intra-party elections, too. There is a downside:

"It is sort of a short-term, noncommittal resource," he said. "A lot of people will join a Facebook group without any expectations of doing anything beyond that."

• Nu Skin at 25. And Blake Roney has a 3-foot laser-accurate replica of Mt. Rushmore in his office given to him by a distributor. MADE OF PURE SILVER.

Rumor mill

Now, this is a little bizarre. In one day, I have heard rumors from the community that the Daily Herald is being sold by its parent company Lee Enterprises and alternatively that we're going to a Web-only format.

I'm sorry that I have to even debunk those rumors, as my 9-year-old could have come up with something better. In fact, he has:

• Isn't the Herald converting to a brewery that specializes in a drink called "Black Ink"?

• I heard the Herald was going to stop selling newspapers to readers and instead use its product to wrap the 9 million carp in Utah Lake before delivery to market. True?

• My neighbor has an aunt who used to work at the Herald who said that it doesn't even print its own paper anymore or even hire people to deliver it. (A 9-year-old with such a vivid imagination. I'm so proud.)

• It's my understanding that instead of buying a new clubhouse for their ludicrously underperforming golf course, the city council of Cedar Hills took the $2 million and bought every last share of Lee Enterprises then took what was left and bought a $1.98 million clubhouse instead.

That should get things stirred up a little more. Now where did I set down my Black Ink?

Forget this blog today. Read this instead

Caleb "C-War" Warnock gives us the rundown on a two-hour verbal bombardment directed at him by the Cedar Hills City Council. Blockquote, take it away!

There is an easy way to check the facts that were reported in the newspaper. Cedar Hills Council meetings are recorded and posted on the city's Web site under "City Council Minutes." Repeatedly in this week's meeting, I was verbally upbraided, along with my employer. Council members referred to a misunderstanding, yellow journalism, a desperate attempt to sell newspapers, sensationalism, and lies on my part. Before the meeting, Wright even called me at home, and shouted that I was "evil" and a "liar."

Somehow I had caused all the trouble by quoting council members in a public meeting.

Gotta say, you'd think over two hours that a whole council would land at least one blow. Nope.

Lousy mohair-covered Irish

Rep. Jason Chaffetz, R-Utah, reloads after TSA porn and earmarks and takes aim at government waste. And thus was born the Sunset Caucus — "in reference to the idea that wasteful government programs should be “sunset,” or eliminated."

Now, aside from the fact that the right honorable congressman can say and do what he wants because his minority position and freshman status means he has nothing to lose, it seems like a reasonable stand to take.

What's even more fun are the three federal programs he's targeting first. (Think what you want about his positions, but Chaffetz is one hell of a marketer.) To the (truncated) press release!

Federal Subsidies for Mohair: $28 million:

Mohair subsidies were originally authorized to help hold down the cost of military uniforms, but the Army and Navy have not used mohair in their uniforms since the Korean War.

Federal Land and Water Conservation Fund: $30 million

Established in 1963 at the urging of President Kennedy, the Land and Water Conservation Fund provides grants to states and local governments to acquire new land and make improvements in their own parks. State and local government should be responsible for maintaining their own parks.

International Fund for Ireland: $14 million

Regardless of the worthiness of that goal, we should not be using U.S. taxpayer dollars to a help solve the internal problems of a wealthy country such as Ireland. Ireland should be responsible for solving its own problems.

No response yet from the spokesman for the land of leprechauns and their tasty, tasty choice of breakfast. (pictured above)

Monday's This Covers My Eyes

This has to make sense somehow. I just don't know how.

Monday Cup o' Joe

• If you're not following the Iran election fallout, you're missing something big. It's just starting to make it to the Big Media despite the fact that it's been on blogs and Twitter for days. (I link to Sullivan because he seems to be aggregating it the best.) Twitter, too. (Photo courtesy of Madyard on twitpic.)

• The Utah GOP gets a leadership facelift. Also, Sen. Bennett gets polite applause while Gov. Herbert gets a standing O.

"I am what I am. I'm a traditional workhorse, not a showhorse," Herbert said in an interview with The Tribune . "This is an organizing convention, not a nominating convention. I'll ramp it up in 2010."

Clever guy. If "workhorse, not showhorse" isn't his campaign slogan, I'll eat my notebook.

• Proving once again that if he wants to show up at a suit and tie event in a jean jacket, he can, Gov. Huntsman welcomes the western guvs. He then speaks a little Mandarin, accepts a free gun and rides off into the sunset. Life of Riley.

• My own swing at Chaffetz's earmark reform proposals. Looking at it again, one thing that may not be clear in regards to Provo is that Mayor Billings has said he's in favor of such reforms as long as everyone does it, too.

Friday Rundown

• As noted here a few weeks ago, Cherilyn Eagar has now officially jumped into the U.S. Senate race for the seat occupied by Sen. Bob Bennett. Here and here.

• A few of you have commented to me about screwing up your RSS bliss by only having blurbs posted in Google Reader. There's a good reason behind it — I'm trying to figure out how many people read this thing and sitemeter, while good, doesn't count the RSS hits as far as I know. Of course, it's not like I'm making money directly off hits, so if enough of you are miffed enough, I'll change it back.

• Utah.gov got a facelift. I'm more the minimalist type, but it's not half bad. Take it for a spin around the tubes. My favorite is the kids' page that features a cartoon monkey with a camera. True story.

• State GOP organizing convention in Davis County this weekend. A lot of it's inside baseball, but if trends continue, it could mean a party that's more transparent and tech savvy. If you really want to get something out of it, watch which elected officials show up and who gets cheered. Sadly, I won't be there.

That warm feeling

The New York Times (mercilessly destroyed by the Daily Show) writes about ex-LDS missionaries doing the door-to-door security business:

“It’s missionary work turned into a business,” said Cameron Treu, 30, who served his mission in Chile and was recruited into D2D (that is door-to-door in sales lingo) by another former missionary.

Well, minus the First Vision and pass-along cards. No, wait!

His thinking on that question changed one afternoon in early May. A woman opened the door and wanted to talk about religion.

“She asked me if I believed in Christ and if I knew who my savior was and I said, ‘Yes, ma’am,’ and we had a discussion and she told me, ‘No one comes in my house without hearing the word,’ and I said, ‘That’s a good policy, ma’am,’ ” Mr. Romero said on a recent afternoon of knocking on doors.

“Since then, I’ve been carrying around these little cards,” he said, lifting up his stack of Pinnacle brochures to reveal a smaller stack of what are called “pass-along cards,” with facts and frequently asked questions about the Mormon Church.

Capitalism and religion in the same place? Celestial Kingdom, FTW!

Oh no you didn't

Filling in on the court beat is always a nice distraction from the grind of politics and all the rest. Society's most colorful paraded in front of you for an afternoon? If you've got the callused heart for it, it can be as fun as watching toddlers eat warm Jello with a fork.

While not my regular beat, I've covered my share of court stories and somehow have never seen anyone tossed out of the courtroom for speaking to suspects waiting their turn in the jury box, a definite no-no.

Today, a 6-foot-tall woman bailiff provided some serious amusement as I awaited a hearing about a murder suspect's competency. Did I mention a calloused heart? Good.

First guy was clearly passing the signals after getting as close as possible to the box. He mouthed a few things before the Avenging Angel ruined his day. A quick "Sir, you're going to have to leave" met resistance followed up with "Sir, I'm not asking you, I'm telling you." Oh no, is he stepping up on her? She doesn't even budge, sets her jaw and the guy folds like cheap card table, muttering as he leaves.

Next up was a woman in the front row who played the ignorant card, putting her hands up. Hilarity ensued (in my head) as the bailiff points to the signs directly in front of the woman two feet away outlining the consequences in English and Spanish. "It says you can not speak to him. It is not a joke," says bailiff as she tosses No. 2 out.

I didn't catch how the third started, only that suddenly, there she was with hand gestures flying toward the signs and a woman on the bench looking thoroughly defeated. Out she went.

I should mention all three instances happened with remarkably little scene, never disrupting the proceedings. That bailiff had some serious presence.

The one about the stupid FB quizzes

So which friend from Friends am I? Who cares? That's who.

As Facebook's unending stream of quiz results sucks out your will to live, you may find yourself thinking "What was I doing friending these losers in the first place?"

Well, that's a question for another time. This post is to help manage those damn quizzes for those who want to keep their friend count high because it's a sense of popularity you're not willing to give up because ever since that six grade gym class where you got pantsed you've had a complex in which you believe no one likes you and this is your form of unspoken therapy...

Where was I? Right, Facebook quizzes.

Problem, meet solution. If you're using Firefox, following the link, follow the instructions, then breath a sigh of relief. It even adds a little "blocked stories" thing in the top right. Brilliant.

Meaningless Rant Tuesday!

I'm no stickler when it comes to the rules. I don't use the handrails on escalators. I cross in the middle of the street. And I often swim less than an hour after eating.

But if you're going to insist on living by the rules, then you should die by the rules. Well, not die maybe, but at least get mocked for your hypocrisy.

I'm looking at you, Utah County Commissioners. During Tuesday's meeting, Gary Anderson was pontificating on a particular attorney who would like to do outside work if hired full time. No one else in the county is allowed to do that, Anderson said.

"I'm not prepared to carve something out for somebody I like," said the guy who drinks sodas every week in a room with signs posted "No Food or Drink allowed in Room 1400". (Steve White is guilty, as well.)

Me? Petty?

Either the rules are followed or they're not. And I want soda.

Late Night musings

I've been trying to figure out how a couple of members of the LDS Church could be at the core of the torture memo debate. You know, God-fearing Christians. Do unto others. Turn the other cheek. The stuff we all believed before 9/11 when all that "blessed are the peacemakers" B.S. flew out the window.

Anyway, I was watching the Utah NOW interview of Ret. Brigadier General David Irvine (watch the whole thing at the bottom of the post) and he couldn't figure it out either.

Then someone mentioned to me the story of Nephi and the brass plates. Church members believe that Nephi and Co., after they left Jerusalem, were commanded to go back and grab what amounts to the Old Testament up to that time.

Dubbed the "brass plates" because they were made of chocolate, Nephi and his brothers headed back to town to convince the rich owner that they needed them. After a few tries (including one in which all their riches were taken) they were on the verge of giving up. Nephi then finds brass plates owner Laban drunk out of his mind in a city alley and is told by The Spirit to take his head off with a sword.

To the Book of Mormon!

1 Nephi, Chapter 4
10 And it came to pass that I was constrained by the Spirit that I should kill Laban; but I said in my heart: Never at any time have I shed the blood of man. And I shrunk and would that I might not slay him.
11 And the Spirit said unto me again: Behold the Lord hath delivered him into thy hands. Yea, and I also knew that he had sought to take away mine own life; yea, and he would not hearken unto the commandments of the Lord; and he also had taken away our property.
12 And it came to pass that the Spirit said unto me again: Slay him, for the Lord hath delivered him into thy hands;

Now, I've heard and read that this isn't the same as being OK with torture. But I would argue that getting the OK from God to to kill a totally helpless person for the good of a nation gives a lot of latitude down the road. The problem I see is that while God may know whether a person's life isn't worth the dust it was created from, how do interrogators know?

And what if they do it to the wrong guy?


(Painting by Walter Rane)

[UPDATE] Hello? Hello?

Surprise!

As is known by now if you're in Provo politics, Mayor Lewis Billings isn't making a run at a fourth term despite being all in less than two weeks ago. Twitter, blah blah, Herald story, blah blah.

What I found remarkable were the number of calls to people who should absolutely know this stuff ahead of time in which the conversation went a little like this:

Me: "Hi, this is Joe from the Herald. Interesting that the mayor decided not to run again, isn't it?"
Person: "No, he's running."
Me: "No, I got it confirmed. He's not running."
Person: "..."
Me: "Hello?"
Person: "I'm going to need to check on that."

Freaked me out enough to check the jail and court records to make sure the Provo mayor hadn't gotten himself into trouble. (Don't worry, he's clean.)

UPDATE:
There is no chance Lewis Billings is going to be the lieutenant governor. First of all, two Utah County residents in the governor's office = legislative poo storm the likes of which you haven't seen since the last time you dropped M-80s in the toilet without checking first. Second of all, Billings would get Herbert absolutely nothing in the 2010 election. He needs help in Salt Lake County and some combination of moderate/name recognition/women thing and Billings does none of the above. No offense.

The devil is in the details

Reaching into their Big Bag of Stupid, the Associated Press (and KSL which can't be bothered to check) run my Nebo School District bond story from a town that doesn't exist. There is no "Nebo, Utah."

Might I humbly suggest that this is why having a local news source is at least slightly useful?

Monday Cup o' Joe

New feature! (That I'll probably forget next Monday.)

There are always a few interesting things that crop up over the weekend. Let's explore them, shall we?

• It's not new that the Dnews wants God-fearing people to read their newspaper. (Aside: If God is love, why do we use "God-fearing"?) So could someone please tell Joe Cannon that we get it, already. You're targeting Mormons. Enough with the "Religion good/Secularism bad" schtick. Also, leave Charles Darwin the hell alone.

The foundation laid by "the men of the Enlightenment" led to Darwin and "his theory which gave an important push toward a materialist, reductive view of the cosmos."

Whatever your view on Creationism vs. Evolution, it is clear that Darwin's work solidified multiple scientific concepts and has lead to plenty of legitimate discoveries. Cannon comes off sounding like a prosecutor in early 1900s Tennessee.

• Governor-in-Waiting Gary Herbert gets some press love this weekend from Pig & Webb at the Dnews and Gehrke over at the Trib. The former chats briefly about Josh Romney for lt. gov., an idea fabricated, near as I can tell, by the paper they write for. They decide that while intriguing, it won't happen. They then list five other possibles who in no way will be taking that job. Gehrke goes a little deeper, bringing up a few people who might actually accept:

For example, former Sen. Carlene Walker, who is widely considered a frontrunner for the job, could provide gender balance to the ticket. Salt Lake County Councilman Michael Jensen, a friend of Herbert's and one of those mentioned as a potential pick, could help Herbert in the populous Salt Lake County.

• iPhone! I've waited a few years now, and it looks like today is the day they'll announce the next version due later this month. I'm buying whatever they're selling this time around. Should be an announcement within an hour or two of this posting.

Zero is still a percent

Dear America,

Since 9/11, it's been a different world. A world in which we have become paranoid wusses who evacuate a building every time something white and powdery appears. It's automatically tagged as suspicious, because the person who was eating powdered doughnuts at the table isn't around to tell us what the source is.

We then spend $10,000 bringing in police, fire and whatever agency has gear to find out indeed that it's no big deal, but better safe than sorry, right?

No, not right.

Let me ask you this, America: When was the last time we were sorry about white powder? Sometime around 2001? Anthrax stockpiles were generally destroyed decades ago. Sure, there are research labs with the stuff, but unlike plutonium, you can't just go down to the corner drugstore and buy it.

Is this what the greatest country in the world has turned into? Freaking out over every white powdery substance we see? Afraid to put flour in our cakes? Salt on our apples? (You heard me.) Baking soda in our freezers? Cocaine on our mirrors? Artificial snow on our ski resorts?

I ask you now, fellow Americans, to take a stand. If you see white powder, don't call the police.

Instead, grab a rag and clean that mess up.

Tech break!

Where in the world has AutoPager been all my internet life? Firefox users, you are obligated to go download it right now. Excuse me? I said obligated. In brief, it takes many Web sites' multipage stories or search results and loads it into the page you have open as you get close to the bottom so that you just keep scrolling down until you get to the end of the entire thing.

Next up is Comcast's recent effort to get one step closer to convergence. I'm trying not to sound like a Comcast ad here (I don't even use them) but this is kind of cool. Customers who have video, internet and telephone services with the company will have the option of getting caller ID on their TVs, monitors and phones. When the phone rings, a notification pops up on whichever visual medium you happen to be using, alerting you who it is. The option is free for Comcast customers who get all three services and takes just a few minutes to set up.

Sign of the timues

I can forgive the use of lower case L's in "DOllAR" (or maybe they're upper case I's?) but "Burguer"? Is that French? (No, no it's not. I speak French and while you may be tempted to use "viande hachée" DO NOT. Our froggy friends say "hamburger" just like we do. Well, not just like we do, what with the accent and all.)

This post is brought to you by the Provo Carl's Jr. and the letter "U".

Knock it off. Just knock it off.

Oldest journalism trick in the book: Pick someone relatively popular (or with a popular name) who hasn't said anything, hasn't had anything said about him (or her) (or him if we're still in Utah) and ask a question so loaded that pulling both triggers would leave enough ammo for a few more shots.

Ladies and gentlemen, to the Dnews blockquote!

Lt. Gov. Josh Romney?

Maybe.

Romney, the son of former Salt Lake Olympic leader Mitt Romney, told the Deseret News on Monday that he won't run for governor himself in 2010.

But he didn't rule out serving as soon-to-be-governor Gary Herbert's No. 2.

"It's definitely not something I'm actively campaigning for," Josh Romney said. "If it were offered to me, I would give it serious consideration."

So no one has asked him. No one has publicly or even privately suggested it. But a reporter asks and suddenly Romney is considering it. Either the Dnews is making up its own news or Romney is actually using the oldest political trick in the book: using the Dnews to tell Gary Herbert "Oh, oh, pick me!"

One way or the other, readers are being tricked.

What are Josh Romney's qualifications for lieutenant governor? I guess he's got a pretty well-known dad. I suspect he has plenty of cash. He probably knows a thing or two about presidential campaigns. He's 33, so a heart attack is most likely out of the question.

Oh, and Governor-in-Waiting Gary Herbert might as well start printing off the "I'm Desperate for Name Recognition and Don't Give a Damn" stickers if he goes down that road.

BONUS HEADLINE: KSL picks up the Romney story from the Dnews and tags it "Some suggest Josh Romney as potential lieutenant pick." At last, at long freaking last, we figure out who the heretofore mythical "some" is. It's the Dnews.

(Photo of Josh Romney courtesy of The Associated Press.)

Rascals

So the MTC sends out a release that their boys are coming in with Swine Flu. Parents, please watch for signs and, you know, keep them at home for a few extra weeks if they're exhibiting behavior that could result in a pandemic.

The advisory comes on the news that three missionaries at the MTC have been diagnosed with the illness, and 17 have tested positive for the type A flu virus, according to a press release from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The affected missionaries have been isolated from the rest of the center and are being cared for by MTC medical staff.

Seriously, thousands of young adults brought to a central location to co-exist for weeks or months, sharing the same food, air and germs, then sent to dozens upon dozens of foreign countries? Is it possible that our beloved white-shirted, black-plaqued , short-hairded army of 19-year-old Called to Servers are actually responsible for spreading the flu around the world?

As you may have learned in Sunday School, the fields are white and ready for fever, cough, sore throat, runny or stuffy nose, body aches, headache, chills and fatigue.