Rumor mill

Now, this is a little bizarre. In one day, I have heard rumors from the community that the Daily Herald is being sold by its parent company Lee Enterprises and alternatively that we're going to a Web-only format.

I'm sorry that I have to even debunk those rumors, as my 9-year-old could have come up with something better. In fact, he has:

• Isn't the Herald converting to a brewery that specializes in a drink called "Black Ink"?

• I heard the Herald was going to stop selling newspapers to readers and instead use its product to wrap the 9 million carp in Utah Lake before delivery to market. True?

• My neighbor has an aunt who used to work at the Herald who said that it doesn't even print its own paper anymore or even hire people to deliver it. (A 9-year-old with such a vivid imagination. I'm so proud.)

• It's my understanding that instead of buying a new clubhouse for their ludicrously underperforming golf course, the city council of Cedar Hills took the $2 million and bought every last share of Lee Enterprises then took what was left and bought a $1.98 million clubhouse instead.

That should get things stirred up a little more. Now where did I set down my Black Ink?